I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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