I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
