he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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