it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
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Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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