reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
