Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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