I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Everclear isn't food dammit
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
