you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
