Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
