whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize