this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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