yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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