Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
