i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
