so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
