And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
