you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
