i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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