Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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