ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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