Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
