wrigley field is MILF paradise
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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