Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Operation Purity has been aborted
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
