know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
