it's too hot outside to masturbate.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
