we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
