Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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