its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
