the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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