i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As shirtless as possible
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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