Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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