Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize