my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
