sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"