You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
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you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.