stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
