i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
