So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
