Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
