Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
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I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
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I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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