Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
