9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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