sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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