absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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