we have officially lost it.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
