I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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