Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
