I faked an abortion last night.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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