Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
