Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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