Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
