he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
