In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
