How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
