this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
