I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
