He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
