Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
