Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
