Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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