i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
