So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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