I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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