please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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